Broke again!

The same old story.. again and again, 

Here I am in despair staring at my screen. 

There’s nothing left anymore, so clear, so clean. 

The 0.00 and the negative credit line, 

Forcing myself to put a smiley face and say that I’m fine. 

Blimey, with all this rhymee I’m forgetting the most critical advice.  

Earn, save and invest as the experts say.  

Is it that easy to learn and follow their way? 

The same old game on pursuit to fame. 

Don’t forget from where you came and if you ever go off track,  

you’ve got yourself to blame! 

Loads of loans, plenty of clones trying the same damn thing. 

Hoping and praying that one day they can become the king.  

Of dreams shattered and brains battered,  

feels like whatever I do doesn’t matter! 

To cater to the needs of my heart with an empty pocket is like firing a fuel-less rocket. 

Bam! Bam! Badoom! 

The constant knocks on my door brings me right down to the floor. 

Not my girlfriend, not my lover,  

It’s my landlord shooing me to go find a new cover. 

With no power from all the dimes I make, man I need a long, far break.  

Scrambling and searching the left over fragments of my brain,  

rumbling and mumbling are all the close ones to my pain. 

In search of a new dawn from the fallen ashes in the ground… 

It clicks, why don’t I do what makes me happy? 

But a thought lingers in my mind,  

will I ever make enough to save my behind? 

Should I risk my last few bills and go for the kill? 

I try to pull myself together but I can’t, I’ve got no will. 

I break down like I’ve never before. 

Playing Motivational videos from 8-4,  

Drinking gin and whiskey till my head hits the floor. 

Poor me, but nobody has to know. 

Locked up all alone in the room,  

all through with an 8-ball listening to my favourite tunes. 

My eyes turn red,  

my veins start to pop and I thought I was the toughest bloke on the block! 

The end is near, my time is up.  

I can here the clock ticking,  

synchronised with my heart beat, tik-tok, tik-tok...

As I stare at the mirror, it starts to become clear of the failure I am. 

It’s time to wrap up my life, no mourning nor homage by my fam.  

Waaahhh! I hear a loud cry.  

My baby girl has  got up from her sleep. 

I look at her face and I know I can’t lie.  

Was planning to do some angel dust, 

But a look at my angel turned that thought into dust. 

Poof, all my ambitions to die has disappeared. 

Now I know what I’ve got to do to face my fears. 

Her eyes tear up lookin at my state.  

Console her, rhyme and rhythm her  back to sleep. 

A look in the mirror and I don’t ever want to be this creep anymore.  

Memories of when she first opened her eyes open my eyes to something special.  

There lies my diary of raps and rhymes  

which has always kept me away from petty crimes. 

My path forward is now clear, for I will rhyme for us my dear. 

The snow out might freeze me to death,  

while this fire inside will keep me alive. 

I promise to keep you warm, fed and happy. 

This is the end. 

The end to our financial crisis, I ain’t rolling any more dices. 

It’s time to bring back your big bright smile,  

hop on my back for the rough ride ahead. 

• illustration by @artmostphere  a.k.a. Meghana
• Follow: artmostphere_